Let's show some respect for David Carradine's family

By Geraldo de Vincennes

BANGKOK- American actor David Carradine, 72, of Kung Fu and Kill Bill fame, was found dead, hanged in the closet of a Thai hotel earlier this week. The media's rush to bring shame to Carradine's family name has been nothing short of a disgrace. Offering salacious postulates about the cause of Carradine's death is irresponsible journalism, and I'm here to set the record straight. Carradine choked to death in a dangerous sexual practice known as auto-erotic asphyxiation, or its more popular name: strangle-bating.

Far from the humiliating stories told by reporters, auto-erotic asphyxiation is a time-honored method of treating erectile dysfunction. Executioners in the 17th century noticed that the condemned often had erections after being hanged, and applied that method to the living in order to increase sexual performance. It is unfair to condemn Carradine for using the ancient apothecary's version of Extenze.

Carradine's case is far less sensational than previous deaths by erotic asphyxiation, so there is really no need to dramatize his death with such salacious details. For instance, Sada Abe, a Japanese housewife, killed her husband in 1936 through erotic asphyxiation and proceeded to cut off his testicles and carry them around in her purse for several days before the police discovered them. If Carradine's testicles turn up in the handbag of a Thai lady-boy in the next few days, there may be a story. But in the meantime, let the man rest in peace.

Trying to hurt the feelings of Carradine's widow and two children through unfounded speculation is unfair and immoral. These are the facts: Carradine was found in Bangkok hotel closet with a curtain rope around his neck and genitals. Stop disgracing his family by calling it a suicide or raising allegations of foul play. This man was involved in deviant sexual practices, nothing more, nothing less.

[RIGHT- Carradine deriving minimal pleasure from having something tied around his neck.]

There is no reason to drag this great actor's name through the mud. Stop all of the idle speculation, even if his divorce papers from his previous marriage indicate a long history of life-threatening sexual deviancy and an incestuous relationship with a close family member. The Bible says that he who is without sin can cast the first stone, so let me ask all of you, who hasn't had a romantically incestuous relationship with a close family member?

Fox News, reporting with their usual candor and journalistic integrity, blamed financial difficulty, accusing Carradine of being a big spender. In reality, auto-erotic asphyxiation kills between 500-1000 people every year in the United States, and countless more experience euphoric joy from the practice, according to Dr. Eli Cole of the University of Minnesota.

[LEFT- An instruction manual for the popular sex toy.]

When contacted for comment on the death of her Kill Bill co-star, Uma Thurman claimed she was not surprised, and cited several instances of hearing strange noises when walking by Carradine's trailer, as well as choke-marks on his neck during most days of shooting. In a phone interview, brother Keith Carradine gasped, “uggghhhggrrllll” before losing consciousness, bringing an abrupt end to the interview.

Carradine joins a long list of famous strangle-baters, including Michael Hutchence of INXS, Frederick Nietzsche, and former President Jimmy Carter. Carter made waves in the 1970s for advocating strangle-bating in sex-ed classes for adolescents as an alternative to pre-marital sex. He recently mentioned on a radio show that if Bristol Palin had erotically asphyxiated her penis-like oversized clitoris, she could have avoided becoming a teen mother.