Apple Faulted for Utilizing Incredible, Futuristic Map Technology

By Denise Montalban

PALO ALTO- Apple released its highly anticipated iPhone 5 this week to generally positive reviews. One feature that has not been well received by the nerderatti has been Apple’s new map software. In fact, the transition from Google Maps to Apple’s proprietary map software has been met with a chorus of full-on nerd rage.

The software, which allows users to carry highly detailed maps of every part of the world in a device that fits comfortably in one’s pocket and also functions as a stereo, telephone, and computer, is seen as a major inconvenience that will prevent users from achieving basic functionality. The technology is seen as inferior to its predecessor Google Maps because of something to do with GPS that no one actually understands, but about which many feel very passionate.

People are angry that their phone can do this.

Even though something as archaic as Map Quest was seen as revolutionary during the lifetimes of most iPhone users, this devolution of software has proven to be a major sticking point with many of Apple’s loyal users.

“I feel hurt and personally betrayed by Apple’s new map software,” said longtime Apple brand allegiant Kip Wolstonecraft, an ice cream scooper from Reno, Nevada. “I waited in line for days to get the new iPhone, and once I finally had it, I found out that someone on the internet said that there is better map software than what came preloaded on my phone. You can see how that would seem like an attack on me, right?”

When asked what he would do about the perceived deficiencies in the new device, Wolstonecraft responded, “I’m not going to do anything crazy like start a riot or buy a Samsung phone, but I’m definitely going to go on one of my Apple message boards and give it 2.5 stars out of 4 instead of 3.”

Perhaps the most perplexing part of the new iPhone release is the fact that Apple, a money-making company, took measures to increase revenue while decreasing expenditures on licensing Google’s technology. Economist have stated that Apple made the decision in hopes of generating additional “profits,” which they explained are made up of money that is left over when expenses are subtracted from revenue. These “profits,” according to the economists, are a key part of Apple’s business model and will help them to produce future products, like the iPhone 6, the iPhone 7, and possibly the iPhone 8, which promises to be the best iPhone ever.