Barack Obama wins American League Cy Young Award

By Tim McKitchen

NEW YORK- The President of the United States can add another trophy to his increasingly impressive trophy case. The Nobel Peace Prize winner was named the 2010 American League Cy Young Award winner by the Baseball Writers Association of America, narrowly edging the Royals’ Zack Greinke and the Mariners’ Felix Hernanez to win the award.

Obama breaks new ground by being only the second African American to win baseball’s most prestigious pitching honor in the last two decades, as well as the first non-baseball player to ever win the award. Obama surprised many by rising above the pack to win the award narrowly, grabbing 18 of a possible 28 first place votes, but did not make it on the ballot of Lavelle E. Neal III, who has gone on the record as saying that he does not think presidents should be eligible to win the Cy Young.

Democratic baseball writer Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe said that he voted for Obama because no other candidate asserted himself in a muddled field. According to Shaughnessy, Greinke’s 15 wins were not enough to win the award, while Hernandez won his games for a team that was out of playoff contention. But, according to Shaughnessy, Obama served as an inspiration to players throughout the league, inspiring African American players like C.C. Sabbathia, Torii Hunter, and Denard Span to lead their teams to division championships, an achievement unparalleled by any of the other candidates.

T.J. Simers of the Los Angeles Times agrees with Shaughnessy. “When you look at Obama’s statistics, they may not be the most impressive, because stats are not kept for presidents and he’s not actually a baseball player,” Simers said. “But Obama is so charismatic; he’s a master of intangibles- the Shane Battier of politics and, by extension, baseball. He’s a great clubhouse guy, he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty, and he really shows up and leaves it all on the field every day, or the Rose Garden as it were. Plus, he’s a really big sports fan, so we thought this would mean a lot to him.”

[RIGHT- Obama working on his 71 MPH fastball, embarrassing Jamie Moyer.]

Simers went on to point out that while Justin Verlander of the Tigers led the league in strikeouts with 269, but that Obama spent the entire summer “pitching” the healthcare public option and constantly striking out. Adding up every time Obama’s proposal fell on deaf ears, it is likely that the President actually recorded more strikeouts than anyone in America.

The controversy surrounding the choice of a non-baseball player for the award was heightened at Obama’s acceptance speech from the White House press room. While Obama told reporters that he was surprised and humbled by the news, he was abruptly interrupted by an intoxicated Kanye West, who stole the microphone and said, “I don’t want to take anything away from your summer Barack, but Zack Greinke had one of the best ERA’s of all time. That’s all I’m sayin.” West was promptly subdued and repeatedly tasered by befuddled Secret Service members who did not know where he came from.

Critics of the President have said that baseball writers awarded him the Cy Young in an effort to stay relevant as the NFL and other sports seemingly grab the attention of younger followers. MLB Commissioner Bud Selig deflected that criticism, but acknowledged the good press that the selection of Obama would generate for baseball. “Look, there is no conspiracy, but I’m also not going to stand up here and say that Obama winning the Cy Young is bad for baseball. First of all, look at the guy- he weighs about 120 pounds. There’s no way that guy ever did steroids. Also, black kids don’t like baseball. Instead of making the product more appealing to them, maybe we can get them to start watching through a convoluted marketing campaign. It certainly beats innovation.”

In any case, Obama’s Cy Young win has upset the balance of power in Major League Baseball since he is not signed to a contract for the 2010 season. In an otherwise weak free agent class, Obama may command “John Lackey Money” if he signs with super-agent Scott Boras. While it is unclear whether a sitting president is eligible to play professional sports, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel has suggested that the President will keep an open mind to any idea that may help offset the budget deficit.