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WASHINGTON- The National Defense University released documents this week that were seized from Iraq in 2003. The documents are comprised of personal accounts and private recollections made by Saddam Hussein between the mid-‘80s and late ‘90s. Among the most striking revelations is the fact that Saddam long believed that the United States sought to depose him and overtake his country, but what other private thoughts revealed in the documents?
• While America is and always will be the Great Satan, Margaret Thatcher is a Pretty Damn Good Satan in her own right.
• No matter how many times he tried, he could never get into Seinfeld. The humor was too much of the whiny Jewish New Yorker style for him. And don’t get him started on Mad About You. But The Nanny, now that was a great television program. He would put Fran Drescher up against any comedienne from her era.
• Tried endlessly to bring Golden Corral to Iraq.
• Favorite actor was Tom Selleck who he first saw in Mr. Baseball. Credits Mr. Selleck as t
he inspiration for his facial hair.[RIGHT- Saddam explains in great detail how he realized that VHS would win out over Betamax.]
• He acknowledge that his son Uday was going through a difficult phase when he caned failed Olympic athletes, kidnapped and raped women off the streets, spent millions of dollars on fine wines, liquor, and heroin, purchased approximately 1,200 luxury vehicles, ran an illegal façade corporation to trade with Iran, and plotted to assassinate the leader of Congress, but he didn’t want to come down too hard on his son for risk of alienating him from the family. After all, nothing helps a child get through a tough time like the support of his family.
• Thought Fran Drescher was really, really funny.
• Had an Atari, but lost interest in Space Invaders when he realized it was much more fun to go outside and blow up real things.
• Always wondered why there wasn’t an Iraqi version of Yakov Smirnoff. Thought that it would be hilarious if he said, “In Ba’athist Iraq, you have hump on camel!”
• He acknowledge that his son Uday was going through a difficult phase when he caned failed Olympic athletes, kidnapped and raped women off the streets, spent millions of dollars on fine wines, liquor, and heroin, purchased approximately 1,200 luxury vehicles, ran an illegal façade corporation to trade with Iran, and plotted to assassinate the leader of Congress, but he didn’t want to come down too hard on his son for risk of alienating him from the family. After all, nothing helps a child get through a tough time like the support of his family.
• Thought Fran Drescher was really, really funny.
• Had an Atari, but lost interest in Space Invaders when he realized it was much more fun to go outside and blow up real things.
• Always wondered why there wasn’t an Iraqi version of Yakov Smirnoff. Thought that it would be hilarious if he said, “In Ba’athist Iraq, you have hump on camel!”
• Thought Crystal Pepsi tasted fine.
• Figured that if there was ever an Iraqi Miami vice, he would be more of a Tubbs type, believe it or not.
• Secretly had his father in law killed after repeatedly warning him to stop saying “Where’s the Beef?” then laughing hysterically each night at dinner.
• Figured that if there was ever an Iraqi Miami vice, he would be more of a Tubbs type, believe it or not.
• Secretly had his father in law killed after repeatedly warning him to stop saying “Where’s the Beef?” then laughing hysterically each night at dinner.
[LEFT- Saddam tries his hand at Iraq's lucrative nightclub hosting scene.]
• If he hadn’t become a dictator, could have seen himself getting into computer programming, or maybe graphic design, or something along those lines.
• Regretted being a teenager before the advent of internet porn.
• Looked into feasibility of having Fran Drescher abducted and brought to Iraq as personal sex slave. Was talked out of it by CBS executives.
• If he hadn’t become a dictator, could have seen himself getting into computer programming, or maybe graphic design, or something along those lines.
• Regretted being a teenager before the advent of internet porn.
• Looked into feasibility of having Fran Drescher abducted and brought to Iraq as personal sex slave. Was talked out of it by CBS executives.
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